Back to reality

I've been living in a dream world the past odd months and going to my little brothers high school graduation woke me up just a little. I realize that I am getting older alot quicker then when I was in middle school and wishing to be 18 so I could move the hell outta my moms house and making and breaking my own rules. When 18 came around I moved out but a year later I had dropped out of college and was living with a crappy boyfriend.Now at 25 and will soon be 26 this summer I realized that I ha vent really don't anything,my future was looking pretty bleak,I had all these dreams and aspirations but I wasn't doing anything with them, it bothered me and I felt like a disappointment not only to my family but to myself.I come from a family of hard working African immigrants who came to this country not really by choice (there was a civil war so they had the get the fuck outta there)but they decided while here to install the working mentally on us kids.I feel like I blew it, I had so many opportunities and falling in love ( or lust) had my heads in the clouds. I got married, got separated and lost the most precious person in my life, my daughter.I'm tired of feeling shitty I want to finally do something with myself so I decided to go back to school for broadcasting, which was my dream when I was a little kid, I got sidetracked in high school and figured I should go into design,well I suck at drawing somewhat and I took a graphic design class in high school and failed miserably, I just couldn't get photoshop.So why the hell did I go to an art college to study graphic design? beats the shit outta me. Honestly I thought it was my calling and while I do love art and design, It wasn't the career for me so I drop out and go to fashion design school to be a fashion marketer,I loved my classes and met some real cool people but yet and still it didn't work out. Come this fall when I go back to school, I'm going in feeling like this is going to work, it better because I don't want to be 30 with no clue.