Wow, Really?

I found a website were I can post some of my poems and short stories. I just checked my twitter and the same website is looking for writers and illustrators to contribute to a new book their putting together, so yeah. So I'm sitting on the toilet (my thinking place) and it hits me that I haven't written anything on paper in years :(. All my old stuff is gone or is hiding out in my dads basement. So I pull out my notebook and start writing, and it's horrible. I'm my own worst critic. It wasn't really forced but heh. My mind is so cluttered it's annoying. I have so many things going on internally that I don't know how to be happy and bubbly and shit. I pretend every things great but isn't that what everybody does? pretend every things good? anyway's, its not the end of the world and I will find my way out of this funk I'm in. Whatever I decide to write it doesn't have to be happiness and sunshine but what I have so far is slice your wrist depressing so I'm gonna chill. I wanna go away for about a week, I don't know where yet but maybe if I surround myself with different people something magical will happen and my head will clear or I could smoke some kush in my backyard